Do you find you are constantly comparing yourself to others? Do you look at colleagues and think they have everything sussed? Stop the comparisonitis (I know it is not a word but it should be!!) – the more we compare ourselves to others the less we feel comfortable with ourselves and our own achievements.
I did an online course earlier on this year about the Science of Wellbeing and one of the weeks was about how we compare things including ourselves to others. It was explained that our minds often use completely irrelevant reference points to judge things against so we don’t get a true comparison which can impact how we feel.
For those of us who can remember the pre-social media days there was far less of this. Our comparison group was on a much smaller scale; after all you didn’t have constant reminders of other people’s achievements available 24/7 on your phone. What we also forget is that none of us are walking in the same shoes and often what we do see is a fraction of reality.
Here are some of my top tips for helping you overcome the Comparisonitis:
- Remind yourself of your achievements: remind yourself of where you are now; write down what you have achieved and your strengths (both in your work and personal life). When you think you have written them all, keep thinking and find some more, chances are, as you get going you will have more than you think! When niggling self-doubt and the comparatonitis creeps in use this as a reminder of your own achievements.
- Remind yourself it is okay to change your mind: Are you worried about whether you should have your career sorted already? The days of lifelong careers have changed. Remember back to when you first started your career, are you still the same person you were then? Chances are the answer’s no. We normally make decisions about our careers in our late teens early 20’s with little experience and knowledge of what these careers actually are or who we are. We would also have been guided by other people like our parents and teachers. Whilst what we decided may have been right at that point in time, over time we learn so much more about ourselves. Career options also develop. It’s not surprising that a few years down the line we start to re-think our choices and look at other options. It’s important to remember, it’s okay to change your mind.
- It’s natural to feel fear but don’t let it stop you. Do you worry about what other people will say if you want to make a career change or how your family and friends will react. It can add to the uncertainty and fear we are feeling about the situation when we don’t know how others will react. Fearne Cotton provided a great insight into this in her book Calm – “I think new endeavours are meant to be scary, but that fear shouldn’t stop you doing what you truly want to do. We needn’t worry about what others think when we want change in life. Change is nearly always traumatic as well as magical, as that is the paradoxical nature of its shift in energy. We must concentrate on getting ourselves through each scary moment in one piece and remember to enjoy life along the way.”
If you are comparing yourself to others in your career and want to make a change Contact Me to find out how my Career Change Programme will be able to help you to stop the comparatonitis and really concentrate on your own needs, wants, achievements and strengths so that you can be confident in making the right choice of career for you.
The information contained above is provided for information purposes only. The contents of this blog are not intended to amount to advice and you should not rely on any of the contents of this blog. Professional advice should be obtained before taking or refraining from taking any action as a result of the contents of this blog. Claire Bolsover disclaims all liability and responsibility arising from any reliance placed on any of the contents of this blog.